Vegeta Vrs Trojan Man!
by Piccolo's Love Slave
Summary: My version of how Bra was concieved. Bulma and Vegeta need to get past a certain...obsticle in thier path first! (Finished)


A/N: If I got anyone's ages wrong, sorry! Hope you all enjoy this!  
  
"Honey." Bulma started and Vegeta knew just by her tone of voice that she wanted something. Something from him. He stood next the closet, surveying her immence collection of shoes in all varieties and scowling. Why does one woman need five hundred pairs of shoes?! He asked himself and, finding his favorite shirt, yanked it off the scented padded hanger Bulma had placed it on and drew it over his muscular shoulders and arms.  
  
He started to button it when he felt his wife's breath on his neck. He turned around to see her looking down at him with a peculiar smile upon her lips. A smile he'd seen before. He shook his head and shoved her away. No matter how much he wanted to take her right then and there.and the hardness between his legs seemed to agree with him.he had his training to think of. There would be plenty of time to play with his mate later.  
  
"I was thinking.Now that Trunks is grown up and all." She began, twirling a piece of her blue hair about her fingers and looking at him with hooded eyes, "I think we should try for another baby!"  
  
"What?!" His eyes became so large she thought they might very well pop right out of his head, "Wasn't one enough for you?! And he's always hanging around that Son brat, Goten so it's like we got two instead of just one!"  
  
"Aaawww.Vegeta.!" Bulma whined, using her but-I'm-very-rich-and-can-have- anything-I-want-just-by-snapping-my-fingers tone of voice. Vegeta cringed inwardly. He detested that tone of voice! "You know I've always wanted a little girl."  
  
A weakling female! He thought bitterly, That's all I need! It's bad enough my son is a closet homosexual.it wouldn't matter to me if only he'd have the balls to admit it!  
  
"It's out of the question, Bulma!" He said, crossing his arms over his chest in his I-am-the-mighty-prince-of-all-saiyans-and-you-better-not-argue- with-me-if-you-know-what's-good-for-you manner. Bulma absolutly hated that manner!  
  
"Listen here, Mister!" She lifted her chin a notch and glared down her nose at him, in the way only the very spoiled can do correctly, "I am a woman and I have needs and right now I need you to make love to me so we can have another baby! My biological clock is ticking like a time bomb and if it blows I swear to Kami I'll take you with me!!"  
  
A few moments later Vegeta and Bulma are entwined in a passionate embrace, all malice is forgotten in the heat of the moment. Vegeta's favorite shirt now lays in a crumpled pile, part of a mound of what they were previously wearing, on the floor by the bed.  
  
He kissed her lips and throat and was just about to move to part her creamy thighs when there came an aweful crashing noise from the next room. Instantly in fight mode, Vegeta crouched on the bed in front of his wife, he tried his best to ignore the ache in this nether regions as his hardness pressed against the tight spandex of his uniform. Bulma had cried out at the sound and sat behind him, worried.  
  
"What was that?!" She cried, "Sounds like someone just broke the front window!"  
  
Suddenly their bedroom door was flung open and a very odd looking man jumped over-dramatically into the room. He wore tights and a cape and a funny looking mask. Bulma screamed at this and produced a huge mallet out of nowhere. "Vegeta! A burgler! Aaaaiiieeee!!"  
  
"Never fear, Good Citizens!" The man said in a deep voice as he stood in their doorway, hands on his hips and his overly massive chest puffed out, "I heard your plight and came as quick as I could!"  
  
"Who are you?!" Vegeta asked, balling his fists at his sides, getting ready to power up, "What are you doing in my house?!"  
  
"I am." Vegeta and Bulma waited while he paused.dramatically, he hoped!. "TROJAN MAN!!!"  
  
"What the.?"  
  
"Vegeta.I'm scared."  
  
"You were about to tread the treacherous waters of you lovly lady's canel without the proper protection from the elements, my dear man!" Trojan Man exclaimed, gasping in shock as he whipped out a string of attached condoms, still encased in their silvery wrappers and let them cascase to the floor like a shiny waterfall. He tossed them to Vegeta, who just stared at them and then back to the man and then at the condoms.  
  
Finally something seemed to click and he shook his head, tossing them back. "I don't need those. Besides, they wouldn't work with my saiyan seed any way! Go away before I decide to kill you!"  
  
"Besides," Bulma yelled, feeling brave suddenly, peering from behind her husband, "We're trying to get pregnant!"  
  
Sighing, Trojan Man lowered his head and shuffled out of the room. "I leave you to your folly."  
  
After he'd left, Vegeta still felt unsated so he turned back to his mate. But Bulma crossed her arms under her breasts and looked away. "You've ruined the mood, Vegeta," She said, "Now I don't feel like it anymore."  
  
"But you just said you wanted to have another baby!" He cried, frustrated with her, "You kinda need my help with that, ya know!"  
  
She turned up her chin and ignored him. Serves him right! She thought, Let him suffer for awhile not being able to get what he wants and see how he likes it!  
  
But he's right about one thing, she thought, a few hours later, near lunchtime as she sliced tomatos for a BLT on rye, I need him to get me pregnant! I want another baby sooo bad!  
  
"Hey, Bulma?" Vegeta asked, coming up behind his wife and wrapping his arms about her slender waist, he nuzzled her throat, "Wanna head upstairs?"  
  
"I thought you'd never ask." She turned and he lifted her into his strong arms, carrying her easily. Rather than walking, he flew up the stairs and kicked their bedroom door open, flew through with her, kicked the door shut and dumped her down on the bed. She giggled and bounced, her perky breasts doing most of the said bouncing. She reached for him and he saw hunger in her eyes that he had the perfect answer to.  
  
"I need you now, Vegeta!" She gasped, after several long moments of blissful loveplay, "Now, Vegeta!"  
  
"TROJAN MAN!!!"  
  
Both Bulma and Vegeta froze, Vegeta inches from his goal and Bulma moaned with disapointment as she felt Vegeta move away from her and, realizing her legs were still parted, flushed a deep burgandy and closed her legs so swiftly the skin between her thighs made a slapping sound.  
  
"It was fortunate I got here in time!"  
  
"Didn't I just kick you out of my house this morning, Nutcase?" Vegeta asked between clentched teeth, "Are you hard of hearing or just stupid?!"  
  
"I have no idea what you're talking about, Good sir!" He said, looking honestly confused, "Allow me to introduce myself."  
  
"Yeah, yeah.Trojan Man.blah, blah," Vegeta said, "We've been through this, remember?!"  
  
He shook his head, "Sir, I believe you have me confused with Trojan Man #21 who works the morning shift. I am Trojan Man #13 who does the afternoon and weekend night shifts."  
  
"You mean to tell me there's more than one of you?!" Vegeta exclaimed, starting to power up, he added through clenched teeth, "The only reason I'm letting you live is so you can tell your.co-workers.to stay away from my house!"  
  
He powered back down and saw Trojan Man #13 dump a clump of unopened condoms on the bedside table. He wagged a finger at Vegeta; "Before you head out into the rain, don't forget to wear a rainjacket!"  
  
Vegeta rolled his eyes. "I've all ready explained to that other guy who came here to bother us that those things are completely useless to a true saiyan like me! Now get out of my house!"  
  
Sighing, Trojan Man #13 left dejectedly.  
  
"Not now, Vegeta." Bulma shoved him away and stood up, redressing herself, "I'm hungry. Let's go have lunch."  
  
He growled to himself, so angry that he formed a ki ball and threw it at the wall. A deafening blast later there was a gaping, smoking hole in the wall. He could see straight into the hallway and past that, the living room. The blast had gone through three walls and outside where it blew up a nearby tree. Bulma screamed from their bedroom doorway and turned back to him.  
  
"Do you know how long that's gonna take to repair?!" She cried, "You need to work on controlling your temper better, Vegeta! Dende! Why'd you have take it out on the house?!"  
  
A few hours later, Vegeta and Bulma sat at the table, eating the half- digestable stuff Bulma had the nerve to call food in silence. Trunks was off with Goten.as usual.and the couple had the entire house all to themselves.  
  
Vegeta smirked as he thought of his wife's sexy body beneath his and being able to.finally.take her as he had wanted to all day.ever since she'd first talked him into it. Not that he needed all that much encouragement, mind you, being a creature whose bestial instincts were always the more potent ones.  
  
He reached under the table and began to caress her leg beneath her skirt. She looked up, a mixture of annoyance and desire played across her features, as if she couldn't make up her mind which she meant to feel at the moment. Vegeta smirked and said, "If you want this baby so much, you know you have to co-operate too."  
  
"Let me clear the dishes first."  
  
He didn't let her finish. He shoved his chair back and stood up, with a dramatic sweep of his arm he cleared the table in nothing flat! Bulma gasped in shock as dishes and food crashed to the floor. Before she could protest further he lifted her up onto the table and leaned her backwards, slipping his tongue between her teeth as he tasted her sweet mouth beneath his own.  
  
"Vegeta!" She cried, when he let her mouth go to focus on her beautifully plump breasts and deliciously erect pink nipples, "We can't do.this.here! What is someone walks in?! How would it.Oh, Kami!.l-look.?" She shudders as his hands roamed over her body, removing her clothing and finding her most sensative areas. She writhed beneath him in purely delicious agony.  
  
Suddenly, just as he was about to worship at her temple, so to speak, they heard a now familiar voice ringing through the house.  
  
"TROJAN MAN!!"  
  
"In Dende's Name, not again!" Bulma moaned, pounding the table with the heels of hands so hard she hurt herself, "Ow! Dammit!"  
  
"I tried to get here as fast I could, good citizins!" The now loathed superhero-type person cried in fear as he reached into his pocket and placed a bunch of condoms on the table next to them. "Looks like I was just in time, too! Whew!"  
  
Vegeta growled but sheilded Bulma as well as he could. Trojan Man picked up the tableclothe from the floor and handed it to Bulma without looking.  
  
"Okay," Vegeta said, once Bulma was properly covered, "What do we have to do to get rid of you? Are you #13 or #21?"  
  
"Neither!" He answered, seeming offended, "I'd never be a sloppy as those two yokels! I'm Trojan Man #55!"  
  
"So, what do we have to do to get you to leave us alone?!" Bulma cried, repeating her husband's question, much to his annoyance, "Tell us!"  
  
"Simple, my dear," Trojan Man #55 said, speaking to her as if she were five years old and needed everything explained to her in easy, simple, well- pronouced words, "You need to use one of my protective condoms while engaging in any sexual activity. Look!" He drew another small, square packet from his pocket and held it out to her; "I even have ribbed.for her pleasure!"  
  
"I told you!" Vegeta said, through gritted teeth, "Your flimsy prophylactics won't work on saiyan men! Didn't #13 tell you?! I let him live so he could make sure none of you weirdos bothered us anymore!"  
  
Bulma got an odd glint in her eyes. She began to see between the lines of the text before her. "So, all we need to do to get you or any of your co- workers to stop harassing us."  
  
"We do not harass, Ma'am," He said, "We are superheros. We save people."  
  
".is to use one of your contraceptives during sex?"  
  
"Essentially."  
  
"Okay, we'll do it!" Bulma said, and Trojan Man #55 nodded, bid them goodnight and let himself out by way of the front door. "Vegeta, put one one, okay?"  
  
"But, Bulma you know."  
  
She raised her eyebrows, winked and he smirked.  
  
So, he wore a rubber that night with his wife and for several nights and days thereafter whenever they both felt the need to share their love with each other. Neither Trojan Man #13, #21 or #55 were heard from again by either one of them and.a few weeks later Bulma had some very exciting news to share with her mate.  
  
~ The End ~ 


End file.
